and she was petting her beer can
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize