If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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