threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
