No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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