OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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