I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
