i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
