We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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