i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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