Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
