The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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