what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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