This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
