Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
