I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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