I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
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She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
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If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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