p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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