so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
