I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
