Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
