Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
