New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
