what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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