So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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