actually, I'm a sock model
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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