i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
