He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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