Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
