I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
