Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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