this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
