I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!