Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK