Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
