it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Well I just put wine in my tea
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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