Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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