So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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