he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Randomize
