How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
