one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
