I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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