Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
