Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize