eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize