Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
