You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
