No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize