if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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