oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
