I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
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and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
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I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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