We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
