That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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