I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
