i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
