Already got asked if we're dating
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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