oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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