is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
